Control Freak

A car that I would’ve been able to get un-stuck.

I’m driving right now, and the ice is melting. There’s salt in it and it's splashing on my windshield. I don’t have windshield wiper fluid, even though my dad bought it for me months ago. Before that, I had bought some for myself but I never put it in. It sat in my trunk until I gave it to my sister. I asked my brother to fill it up for me but he never did. I never did either. 

Now I just wish I had windshield wiper fluid and I don’t know why I didn’t put it in myself, even though I do everything for myself. 

For that matter, I need to put my new turnpike sticker on so I can take the damn turnpike when I’m running late. I shouldn’t be running late so I haven’t put it up.

It’s important to be perfect in as many ways as you possibly can. The exception is for those things that you can’t control; for those you get to act like they don’t matter to you. 

If you’re really clever, you can mess up but pretend you didn’t care, and people might think you were actually being perfect all along. 

Yesterday, I had to get gas, and the ice was still thick. I got my car stuck outside the gas station, and I had to call my step-dad to come help me out. I called three times, and he didn't answer. By then, someone had stopped to help me. He was pushing my car, and it was just stuck as hell. I let him drive it and he got it out. 

He backed it up. It’s rear-wheel drive. I knew I needed to back up but I was scared to really gun it. I couldn't believe I let him help me instead of getting myself out. 

And I can’t put windshield wiper fluid in my car.